Hey Berlin, I guess you’re pretty awesome.

011Though I was meant to travel to Berlin as part of a class trip, I decided last minute I would more enjoy the freedom and still went with the class, however not for credit. I stayed in Berlin only from Thursday afternoon to Sunday, and,  well I liked it, but it wasn’t very special. Berlin isn’t like Italy where suddenly you feel in love and can’t stop thinking about anything else. But it was beautiful, it had chai lattes and foliage, it had cute cafes with free wifi, fries with jalapeno cheddar sauce and delicious Indian food. Also, let us not forget,  4euro cocktails at every restaurant and great beer. So yeah, mix all that with the fact that Germany now is offering FREE college tuition, including many a MA program in English, I can do that.

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I stayed in Mitte, on a street surrounded by prostitutes, who look like that girl who turned herself into a Barbie. They all wear knee high heeled boots (with laces), corsets that make their waist the size of my arm, yet somehow huge breasts… all long straight hair, either totally blonde or totally black. These ladies are also apparently not easy. Our first night we bought two 6-packs of delicious Berliner Beer, along with salads and hummus, oh and some fancy wine coolers. Side note: whenever visiting a new country, just buy everything you have never seen before.  Restaurants in Berlin apparently all close by 10:30 so we sat at a closed one and observed the ladies of the night. Well they do say no, quite often, or they try to do that little put up a fight thing for interest, not sure. It was closing in on 1am and only two girls were left, one kept approaching men straight up, but always only if they were in two. She never got a client. Another just turned away everyone. I have never been so amused it takes people watching to a whole new level.297

Another thing I noticed: German people are so unhappy, and mean. Seriously, except for the guy who owned (we think, or at least worked at) Espresso Ambulanz, who was so happy to explain every type of Chai to us. Listen if you are one of these grumpy Germans you need to stop taking what you have for granted. You have FREE education, do you understand? You have yummy beer and soup. You have legit cafes. You have bio stores on every block, and right next to that a delicious currywurst, kebab or fries place! See, there is something for everyone. You also don’t necessarily have to pay for your metro, oh yeah, you have a legit metro. You don’t have a gypsy problem (side story: the only gypsy was outside the monument to Roma people who died in the holocaust….she was attempting to trick  two guys next to me…hmmm). You have DUNKIN DONUTS AND BEN AND JERRYS. Ok so it is a lot about the food.  But also you have the potential for jobs, a functioning government and economy, fall weather, and lots of pretty museums, oh and great style by the way.  So please, cheer up.317

A few examples of grumpy Berlin residents, let us start with the Museum Workers. Listen, I am an archaeology and art history, I understand the fear of hurting your precious colonist trophies.  But the museums are hot, obviously I have a jacket which I want to take off, in fact it’s only a cardigan, I don’t think I can hurt anything by carrying it in my arm, so stop yelling at me. Also, you paid for that expensive  glass protection, I do believe my standing a little close in order to see the artifact, which is a foot behind glass, will hurt anyone. And I still say your Nefertiti is fake. And what is your obsession with taking whole buildings, can’t you be happy with a few artifacts. What would the Middle East be with the Ishtar Gate, the Temple of Inanna, or the Palace from Samarra?

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Next, The Old Lady on the Street: It was a quiet Sunday morning, no one on the giant sidewalk, when a friend and I stopped to admire a sign. At the same time a woman was walking in the same path of us, she stopped directly in front of my friend, sassed her in german, my friend then surprised moved to the side, to which the woman responded Danke, and continued walking in a straight path.

So although Germany was a bit strange, I think I could live there, and by that I mean if there is free education and jobs in English, at least I don’t have to go back to the States just yet.209

Oh and if you go, GO TO THE DDR MUSEUM, you will not regret it, but more on that later.

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One comment

  1. Hahaha I love this post! How could you possible be unhappy and grumpy and telling off young ladies carrying their coats in museums in a place that offers such cheap cocktails, free education and B&Js?!

    Like

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